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  • I'm a really private/paranoid person. Why is your screening so stringent?
    Bottome line: My business; my rules. I will not make an exception for you, because I don't want to and I don't have to. You are worried about privacy, I'm worried about phyiscal safety. Your desire for anonymity means nothing here. There are providers who would like to screen you, but struggle to stay housed and fed, so take the risk instead. I have the immense privilege of prioritizing my safety, so I absolutely do. I always find it peculiar that actual high profile people send me their screening info, no problem, while Gary, lead salesman of the Honda dealership in Walla Walla acts like he's guarding nuclear codes (Sorry to any Garys in Eastern Washington I have just offended; #notallgarys). I don't care that you're married. The only one who's going to tell your wife are your sloppy mistakes. If you have a problem with how challenging it is for a woman to stay physically safe at her job, perhaps you should expend your energy contacting legislators and pressuring them to change opressive laws, rather than pushing the boundaries of marginalized professionals.
  • What do you do with my identity info?
    Basically nothing. I save it until the the safe completion of our first session, and then I delete it. Frankly, I don't even save numbers. I keep a text thread, so I can see that you've visited me before. But the identity verification is really just to help me feel safe for our first meeting. It's an act of transparency and good faith on your part.
  • But how do I know I can trust YOU?
    There is this amazing thing called the internet, and you can use it to research me. First of all, I have created this entire website for you to get a sense of who I am. Where's your website, buddy? But just off the top of my head you could: Google my email address and number, reverse search my images, check out my Twitter feed, google my name along with relevant search terms and see what comes up. I've been around for a while. Better question is: why are you doing zero research before you book, then acting sketched out about screening?
  • How do I know I'm going to get my money's worth?
    I guess you don't. If you have a list of menu items you want to check off, move along. If you don't feel like it's worth it unless a provider did xyz, we're not a good fit. If you need me to spell things out for you, I think you're a legal safety risk to yourself and others. I assure you, I provide a standard but exceptional experience. Part of the excitement is rolling the dice. You don't know that our chemistry is going to match up until we meet in person. But I guarantee if you don't have a list of expectations and come with an open heart and mind, you'll have a great time.
  • I have a disability/am neurodivergent/have PTSD. Can I still see you?
    YES! Of course! Kindness and depth of soul are by far the most attractive qualities to me; the rest is just details. My building is ADA accessible, and I have experience working with neurodivergent folks (I myself have adhd), as well as folks with trauma and PTSD. Building and earning trust with strong boundaries are important to me, and every human has the right to experience pleasure in their body, regardless of how it functions. An important note: I am not even close to a good substitute for therapy. I'm more like that fun group activity your therapist encourages you to try. Please don't use this service in place of therapy, and please for the love of god, do not think of me, or any other provider as a *kind of* therapist. We are less like therapists and more like your own high end customer fulfillment rep.
  • Poppy, I tried to contact you and never heard back?"
    Was your message so short that I didn’t feel you were making a serious inquiry? Was it lewd or crass? Did you call me "Baby?" Did you not provide any details about yourself? Did you provide an alarmingly long list of details about yourself? Was your message so full of errors as to make it unreadable? Did you ask for a time of day that I'm absolutely not available? Did you write a message the length of a novella and expect me to read it? If none of these apply, it must have been lost in the void. Every now and then my booking form goes to spam. Please try again.
  • We have such a great connection; can we hang out sometime off the clock?
    I enjoy spending time with my clients, but this is my business. It’s important to both our emotional healths to maintain boundaries and limits. And think about it, you may adore some of your clients, but would it make much business sense to provide your services for free? Examine why you think people in this specific industry should spend time with you for free when you wouldn't expect that of someone in another industry, especially a man. Examine your focus on your own experience, rather than the reality of the situation, i.e. "I feel good, so that person also feels good in the same way." Ask yourself what you have to offer me in the place of that money. How will I support myself with your attention alone, instead of your money?
  • You seem like a stickler for hygiene. What's up with that?
    Seriously? You've been marinating in your own juices all day. You've touched so many door handles covered in viruses and fecal matter. You take a dump and think that dry paper somehow magically cleans your ass, meanwhile your sweat is accumulating in your crack and migrating the risiduals from your bowel movement to your entire crotch area. You get in the shower, add luke warm water but NO soap and NO scrubbing, come out smelling like a wet dog, and then you want me to touch you? Do yourself a favor and read this; it's the lord's work:
  • Gifting is my love language; can I bring you something?
    OMG! I love presents and tips. They are absolutely not expected or required, but will make me giddy with joy. I have a handful of ideas listed on my More About Me page.
  • What kind of clients do you like to see?
    Hmmm, let me try to answer this thoughtfully and accurately. When it comes to uh, physical skills, I'm most gifted at pleasing cis men, because that is the majority of my clientele. I do go in for a bit of sapphic romance, but I'm less confident in my ability to provide a satisfying experience for a woman. I'm most attracted to men (cis and trans, men are men, right?), as well as masculine non-binary folks. I don't see clients under 25, because they mostly look like teenagers to me and it feels creepy and wrong. All this being said there are MANY EXCEPTIONS TO EVERY SINGLE ABOVE RULE, so please still reach out if you think we'll mesh (or if you think I'm so hot you just don't care)
  • Providers have discriminated against me in the past, because I belong to a marginalized group. Do you have any exclusions?
    I only exclude assholes, my friend. I'm really sorry to hear you had that experience. The world has a long way to go, in terms of confronting colonization, white supremacy, patriarchy, and toxic masculinity. I'm a human and I make mistakes and say uninformed things, but I strive to be accountable, open to criticism, and receptive always. Racism, fatphobia, transphobia, etc. have no place in my space.
  • Do you do trades?
    Yup! I trade all my services for cold hard cash. Probably wouldn't turn down a house at this point either. So yeah, cash or land, baby.
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